To My Future Kids

Looking forward to meeting you

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 05:02:00 +0000

Only about 10 weeks left til we get to meet you, little guy. I wish I had more time to write to you but we're so busy preparing for your arrival. We already love you so so much and today, on Father's Day, it hit me a little more how much our lives will change and how amazing it will be. Hopefully we do a good job, but I'll let you tell us in a few years what you think. =)

See you in a few months, C.O.

Giving Back

noreply@blogger.com (Sofeeuh) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 20:51:00 +0000

I can't believe now I'm writing to an actual "future kid." Your dad and I have been too busy the last few months to blog since I got pregnant and we've been giddy, nervous, busy, etc. ever since. But all the more important to get back to this blog to you since you'll be here in less than 6 months!

There is this show your dad and I used to watch called American Idol. Before the economy tanked, they used to do this thing called "Idol Gives Back," where they donate a huge sum of money to a charitable cause. So whenever we give to a charity or something, your dad always jokingly says, "Idol gives back!" I know, he's so cheesy.

Anyway, we usually like to give to a number of charitable organizations here and there, but we haven't really made a conscious effort to do so. Lately we've been doing pretty well financially, despite the economy, so your dad suggested that every month we pick a cause to give money to instead of sinking it all into a donation to the Catholic church on Sundays. I mean, we still give a little money when we go to mass, but we realize there are so many other important causes to support.

It made me really warm inside to think that I'm with someone that feels like I do about supporting causes and giving back. Thing is, even when you have it really bad or you think your life is hard, someone out there probably has it a lot harder. I whine about work, being busy and tired, not saving enough, having spent too much on our home, needing a new car, etc. At the same time, I have enough food, a really nice roof over my head, a great job, and most importantly, the love and support of my family and friends. So, good for your dad for recognizing all that and suggesting that we give back.

Now I can stop the complaining and start contemplating where we can help instead!

Priorities

noreply@blogger.com (Sofeeuh) — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 00:31:00 +0000

Your dad and I have been thinking about a lot of things lately. We've both been really wrapped up in work and other things, but there have been a lot of events in the past few months that have made us rethink our priorities.

A couple of months ago, we lost a very good friend to a long battle with cancer. It was shocking, devastating to us really. But you know what? Our friend knew his life would not be long and he lived it in a spirited manner and a passion the likes of which I don't think we'll see very often.

Besides that tragedy, we've been dealing with a few other things too, nothing I need to really get into. But again, these events have made me think about what is truly important to me in life. I admit it, I am an aggressively ambitious person. If it means I can make more money, get a promotion, do more, work more, etc., then I'm all for it. I welcome new challenges. Same with your dad. He's taken on a side job consulting. As a result, he's working about 60 hours every week.

What has that meant for us? Well more money, more things we can buy, more savings, more stability. But what has it cost us? For one, your dad and I have a hard time planning time for each other and for family and friends. Secondly, we are both always so tired or rushed. It got old REALLY fast.

So we're looking to make a shift in our lives, back to a time when we were more simple and honestly, more happy. Sure we won't be able to buy as many things and our savings might be a little thinner than it would be otherwise, but I think time will be worth its weight in gold.

Living Within Your Means

noreply@blogger.com (Sofeeuh) — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 20:30:00 +0000

So your dad and I learned a very valuable lesson this week about living within your means. We almost dug ourselves into a very deep hole! There was a really cool house near your grandma's that I looked at last weekend and dragged your dad to go look at last Monday. The next thing you know, we're talking to loan people, real estate agents, and a few days later, we were signing papers to put in an offer.

Now here is the kicker: not only do we already own a house, we weren't even really LOOKING to move for at least a year or two (per our previous discussions). But we got overly excited and never really stopped to think what kind of a bind we could get ourselves in financially because we've been fortunate enough to be able to afford everything so far. Luckily, the DAY we were going to sign the offer (which I think would have been accepted), we finally got a reality check when we sat down and looked at what we both brought in monthly. Then we subtracted bills, taxes, mortgages, and thought of worst case scenarios (someone loses a job or we can't rent out one of the houses). It's never fun to look at worst case scenarios, but it's a necessary evil. Well what we figured out was that it would be thistight for us to buy this home and own two big homes. So as much as we really wanted this place, it just wasn't a good time.

I've been in this boat before, when I was younger and less experienced. Thanks to credit cards, it was fun to be able to buy things and to never have to say no to things you wanted. But sure enough I got myself into a situation that took a few years to correct. Thankfully, I thought of that experience this week, and that situation did not have to play itself out again--which would've taken more than just a few years to correct!

The thing is, it's not easy to live within your means, because it does take some discipline. The trick is knowing what your limit is, and the answer may not always be what you want. Yes, spending is fun. Yes, it's great to be able to buy things. Yes, going out is terrific. But don't forget to stop and take a look at your lifestyle once in a while. Is it more than you can handle? Can you be saving up more? Is there debt that should be paid off? Someone I know once told me that in his younger years, he loved getting a new car every few years. But now he wishes he didn't waste all those thousands of dollars on cars. And this is from someone who loves luxury!

I think after my initial financial mistakes in my younger years, I learned how to manage my money a lot more carefully (it helps that I get those genes from your grandma, an accountant). I still enjoy a very good life, don't get me wrong, but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I was and am disciplined about how to spend my money. So learn from mistakes early on, or better yet, learn from mine and save yourself a lot of headache in the future.

Love the One You're With

noreply@blogger.com (Sofeeuh) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 22:00:00 +0000

A few weeks ago in my book club we read a book called "Love the One You're With." It was a sort of fluffy chick-lit novel about a girl who runs into her ex and starts a chain of events in which even though she has the perfect life, she has doubts and wonders if she made the right choices. The book wasn't that deep or anything, but it made me think about the choices that I made for myself.

In life, you will make millions of choices every day. You will have to choose when to wake up, what to eat, what to wear, which route to take to work/school, etc. And the bigger choices: what friends to make, what career path to choose, and who to love. Whatever you choose to do, I'd like you to think about what my mom (your grandma) always says about, "You make your bed and lie in it." It's a common saying, nothing complicated.

At it's simplest level, I think the saying is bascially that you're stuck w/ the decision you made so make the best of it. Or something like that. But I'd like to think of it also as if you don't like the decision that you made (e.g. where you are in your life) then change it. Make something happen. MAKE YOUR BED...THEN you lie in it. And if you don't like the bed you made, change the bedspread for gosh sakes! The point is, don't ever feel like you're stuck with any choice or burdened by any decision. You can choose to make the best of it, you can choose to change it, you can make the effort to change yourself--the choices are endless and they're all up to you. Just remember that you have one life to live so make the most of the "One You're With"--whether that "one" is a friend, a house, a car, a purse, a pair of shoes, or a lover.

I'm not being particularly eloquent today, so I'm sorry. But this is something my co-worker sent me in an email and I think it says it best:

What Will Matter

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours, or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame, and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built. Not what you got, but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered, or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom, and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.

Age

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 08:28:00 +0000

In the next two weeks your father is going to be 33 years old, and your mother 26. To you, that probably sounds really old. When you're a child, these numbers are quite large in terms of age. This does remind me of a story though.

Back in 2001, one of my friends turned 21 and complained about how "old" she felt. At 21 years old! I was freshly 26 myself at the time, and I thought "oh man, you are SO young you don't even know it, it's me who should feel old." Of course, the irony of it all... is that at 33, I can think back 7 years to being 26, and how young I used to be back then compared to now.

Having many friends in their late 20's now, I've been called "the old man" as a running joke for some time. I've also heard friends in their late 20's talk about how old they feel. When your mom and I spend time with our friends who are currently in their 40's and 50's, they roll their eyes at how young we are and say that we're just "babies".

The "old" joke is overplayed and will always be mentioned by your younger friends right around college. It never ends, and for good reason. You will always feel older than you used to be, wax poetic about the yesteryears, and see the changes between yourself "then" and "now". But you should never feel "old". Not for a good long time.

See, sometime between 2001 and now, I realized how dumb it was to feel old at any age under 60 or 70. Your grandmothers only recently turned 60, and they're both so strong to this day. Let's go back to that friend of mine who felt old at 21. The next birthday she'd have, at 22, she'd feel oldER. And then again at 23. On and on... for the rest of her life. She will always feel "old" from a prime youth of 21. That, to me, is sad. Nobody under 40 should feel "old", as I'm sure any 50-year old can tell you. (Once you're in your 40's you're still not "old", but moreso objectively "middle-aged" as life expectancy I project at roughly 80 years old.)

So instead of feeling old at whatever age you're currently at, know that 5 years from now you'll look back at this age as "your youth", and think about what you want to remember. Do you want to say "Wow I was so depressed that I was old, and now I realize that I was young back then", or do you want to say "I enjoyed that time of my life and I'm continuing to do so today."

When people in their 20's grumble about being old, it's really their loss by never feeling young. Enjoy your time now, whatever age you are, because life can be pretty incredible, and every day you start the rest of your life.

Enjoy Your Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Sofeeuh) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 06:39:00 +0000

I am a chronic shopper, I'll admit it. I like to buy things! But sometimes that's not always a good thing, or more importantly, it's not always a necessary thing. A lot of the time it's simply about the act of shopping for something new (see the entry about the Thrill of Shopping). The end result though is I often have a lot of unused stuff--or just plain junk! Unless you are an extremely diligent person, don't fall into the trap of "Oh I'll just buy it now and return it later if I don't want to keep it." Often times one of several things might happen:

a) You could lose the receipt
b) The 30, 60, 90 day return policy could come very quickly
c) You forget about the item until above mentioned return policy date has already passed.

Not to mention, you now have just STUFF sitting around your house. Your dad and I just spent a whole day cleaning out our "office," which was known previously as a junk storage area. It feels so good to throw out junk we don't need and now have a clean, USABLE space! But it made me realize that I just really want to enjoy my stuff. The stuff I have NOW, not the stuff I still need to (or want to) buy.

So for the month of March (which has just started) I will try not to buy anything unnecessary. Meaning, no new clothes (I have so many and some that I haven't even worn yet), no trinkets for the house (because we still have new, unused, really nice decor we have yet to display), no impulse food buys that will just go bad in the cupboards or fridge. If all goes well, I'll try and extend it into April and see if it becomes a more regular thing.

Part of this is for financial reasons of course. Hopefully your Dad and I can save up more money for big purchases we need, like a new sofa (our futon is not as comfy as it once was), a new mattress (the one we bought a few years ago is not so good anymore for my back) and nightstands (we don't have any). Eventually we want to be able to buy a new car too. But all the junk we buy has made money disappear more quickly than we'd like it to so this will hopefully change our (more like MY) mentality about spending on unnecessary things.

More than that though, buying a bunch of things just means more stuff will end up being thrown away or discarded somehow and clutter/pollute the planet overall. It just isn't good stewardship. Something that really helps me gauge whether or not to buy something is the fact that your Grandma is cleaning her house out right now and she has SO MUCH STUFF, some of it older than I am! So before I get something now I try to think, do I really want this around in 20+ years? Do I like it that much? And often times, the answer will be no. I have everything I need.

Besides...my birthday's coming up, so that means presents! =)

It is Important to Take Time Off

noreply@blogger.com (Sofeeuh) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 23:16:00 +0000

I am really bad at taking days off. Everyone gives me a really hard time about this, from your dad to my co-workers. It even showed up on an evaluation that my peers did of me at work. I scored amazingly in teamwork and leadership, but everyone agreed that I do not take enough time off for myself. Even if I do take a day off, I always answer my cell phone or check my emails, or I sneak into work "just for a little bit." If I am sick, I suffer through it and hardly ever leave early even though if someone on my staff so much as sniffles, I make them go home. I don't think I've taken one sick day in my two years here. I wait until I absolutely cannot take it anymore and end up getting really sick or falling apart some other way. I hope you understand that this is not good AT ALL. I have a very stressful job in which I manage a lot of people under often intense conditions. Burning out is something that can so easily happen in my industry, especially in my position. So I've vowed that this year, for my physical and mental well-being, I must take more time off to provide some balance.

My boss tells me, "When you die it is not going to say on your tombstone, 'She had the most vacation days saved up.'" And this is so true. I'm always worried about hoarding my vacation days for when it's absolutely "worth it" or I worry about spending money and time to go on a vacation. But as my co-worker told me last night over beers, "If it comes down to paying off the house, the car, or buying a dinettte set OR going on a vacation, take the vacation! Years from now you won't even think of the money that's not in the bank, but you WILL remember your vacation and the memories you made."

Your dad and I don't go on nearly enough vacations. We usually end up going to Vegas or something close and easy. But whenever we do go on vacation, it's always wonderful. We do make amazing memories like when we went to San Francisco w/ Uncle Matt and Auntie Jen or Santa Barbara just by ourselves. However, it's not always easy to take days off to go somewhere. It requires time and planning, not to mention your dad recently took a new job so his vacation days are not quite saved up yet. So more often now, I will take off days by myself for no reason. I'll sleep in late, go shopping, get a massage or have lunch with a friend. And you know what? It's very worth it, every single time. I've made a promise to myself to take care of ME this year, and taking time off is one huge way I am going to do that. That way, when you kids finally come along, I will be well-rested and ready for you. =)

Of Pictures and Video

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 05:54:00 +0000

Time passes us by at an insane speed. Every year you'll think "Is it already May? I thought the year just started!" "Is it already Summer?" "Fall?" "Christmas?" and before you know it, the year has passed.

Life is a cycle. Our culture has imposed it upon us to celebrate certain "checkpoints" each year in a certain timeframe. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries... the last two months of each year are spent frantically looking for just the right Christmas presents.

Growing up, I didn't like it when Oma always wanted to take pictures of us at family parties or even just at dinner in some random restaurant when we were celebrating a birthday. As we got older I learned to understand why she did so. We change, we grow, and before you know it, some of us are gone.

When a life is over, all we have left of that life are our memories. Our loved ones that were taken from us too early, our parents and grandparents who lived their lives fully, our pets that have passed on... we build our entire lives every single day, and reflecting on that, being able to revisit those memories, that's so precious.

There's a song in a musical (Avenue Q) that sticks out to me every time I hear it. The song is about college reminiscence, and one character states "I wish I had taken more pictures". That's how I feel about our little Bella, who we've taken lots of pictures but very little video of her as a pup before she got bigger. She's amazing as her coat started out black, and faded to a light brown ever so slightly over the last 6 months.

6 months! That's what I'm talking about. Some days life drags on, but overall, the years will only get shorter. I think that's because when you're 4 years old, your fifth year is 20% of your life, but when you're 9 years old, the next year is only 10%, and so forth. So the younger you are, the longer a year feels, but as you get older, the years go by tremendously quickly.

That's not just it of course. It's so easy to get caught up in the stress of life. There's so much that we have to do every day that at the end of it all, life can pass us by.

So I suppose there's two things that I want to say here. One, capture moments as often as you can. You never know when a proud moment with someone you love may be the last great moment that you have together. Two, try to cherish what you have when you have it. It's too easy to take for granted things that feel like they'll never go away. There is so much that life gives us. Take a moment and enjoy it.

Just Do It in 2008

noreply@blogger.com (Sofeeuh) — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 05:45:00 +0000

Okay, so I don't know if you kids are just going to laugh at me for using a Nike slogan, but it really captures how I feel right now: Just Do It. I've been really stressed at work this month and really, this whole year. It's been a tough year and it ended on sort of a reflective note for me. Your dad and I just went out on New Year's Eve and partied our butts off. We danced, drank (responsibly of course, haha), and had the time of our lives. I remember in the middle of it, as the music pounded and we were dancing and laughing so hard, your Auntie Jen screamed, "I DON'T CARE ABOUT WORK RIGHT NOW!" It was so awesome.

Every decision we have made, lately, seems to be really practical and safe--partially because it has to be. I mean, we both have really demanding jobs, a big mortgage and bills to pay, responsibilities to our families, and friends that we don't ever seem to visit enough. So it was nice to tell your dad about a month ago that I really just wanted to be OUT and go crazy on New Year's Eve for once. Next thing I know, your dad books some oh-my-God expensive tickets on a yacht party and convinces some of our friends to join us. So many times I was thinking, do we really need to do this? It's so expensive! It's such a pain to dress up! Blah, blah, blah. But then I said, eh, forget it, let's just DO IT. And it was one of the most fabulous nights we've had in a while.

It really got me thinking. We haven't traveled that much, we haven't spent enough time together, we haven't partied enough, we haven't just DONE THINGS. We have spent the last couple of years planning, planning, planning almost EVERY detail of our lives from our wedding, to our home purchase, to our career moves. So this year, 2008, we've decided we want to at least try and travel to a few places like Chicago and New York, partially inspired by your Auntie Jen and Uncle Matt. They want to do places like Texas, Italy, and Japan--how cool! I mean, I have like, a month of vacation saved up and it's growing more every day, so before you little rugrats (I say that affectionately) come along, your dad and I need to make sure we build those memories together and know that we DID IT.

The More Flexible Decision

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 07:55:00 +0000

In life, you will be faced with many decisions. Did you know that Americans spend 2 full months a year wavering about what decision to make? I just made that up, but I'm sure there's a lot of back and forth. When you're in high school and college, you'll see. After a nice dinner, you'll be standing outside in the cold with your friends trying to figure out where to go, what to do, and it'll take about half an hour to finally commit to something in that parking lot. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Sometimes a decision can't be made in the amount of time you're given. For example, the blue shirt or the red shirt? Do I buy this gym membership today because it's a great deal, or don't I? Should I sign up for this class?

There's a simple rule that I like to follow: make the more flexible decision.

Ooh, there's another rule too: will your life be lacking if you don't [insert major purchase here, like "buy this car" or "join this multi-level marketing group"].

Let's stick with the flexible decision this time though.

If you're in a store, and you're wondering "should I buy this or shouldn't I", or deciding between multiple items, think about the decisions that you have available. If you're not sure whether or not to buy something, check the return policy. Is it returnable for a full refund, and is going back not too inconvenient (i.e. you're not traveling in Germany)? If so, get it. Think about it later, while you're in the car or consult a friend or family member. Why? Because it's the more flexible decision. If you buy it, you can return it, but if you don't buy it, you may come back and it'll be gone. Pick the decision that lets you pick the "other" decision if you change your mind later.

Same with deciding between two sets of drapes or something. If there's a good return policy, buy them both! Just make sure you return the one you end up not using.

That's pretty much it. Given a situation where you're forced to make a choice, try to pick the one (if available) that gives you more flexibility.

By the time you read this, I can honestly say I love you guys. (And "guys" is a non-gender-specific term, at least where I'm concerned)

The Thrill of Shopping

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 07:39:00 +0000

There's times that I feel the need to just "buy" something. Your mom has that urge too from time to time. It can't be explained except that we're brought up in a society that encourages us to shop. "It's good for the economy", they say. Funny that every transaction (earning money, spending money) involves taxation of some sort. The only type that doesn't, for the most part, is getting a refund. That's where this cool tip comes in.

You know what commercials are, right? And advertising? And those e-mails that you get telling you that you need something to enrich your life? That's all called marketing. It's basically the concept that someone wants you to put your money into their hands. So they'll tell you that you're not pretty enough, cool enough, fashionable enough, etc. in order to make that happen. Eventually you feel "happier" or "better" by making a purchase. Even a soda or a coffee purchase brings delight.

So how do you satisfy this trained craving without being poor? The answer lies in the impulse. When we go shopping, things feel "different". A shirt or pair of pants may look really great in the store all the way up to the dressing room, but once we take it home it may sit in our closet, unused, for months. It's okay to give in to these impulse purchases, but only on one condition: make sure it's returnable.

Things you buy online more than likely will be either unreturnable, or a complete hassle to return. For that reason, try to restrict your online purchases to items that you know you want for certain, i.e. you already know it's your brand / size, or it could be some other item like a television or a book or DVD (if they still make those when you read this). For your in-store purchases, keep your receipts and know your return policies. Some stores state that you can't return items that are open (like video games, movies and music) while others may say "All Sales Final". In 2007 we have the amazing store called Target, which allows returns for up to 45 days on most items, and the superior Costco which allows returns for up to 90 days on some items and unrestricted returns on others.

We try not to abuse the system. Most of our returns are a result of realizing that we changed our mind, or we bought multiple types of items and decided which ones to keep later (see future post The More Flexible Decision). For the most part we return items unused, despite what Uncle Matt probably keeps telling you about the infamous deep fryer.

Regardless, getting a refund is like "shopping for money". Instead of giving money and taking home goods, you get to give goods and take home money. Sort of how a plant breathes in the CO2 that we exhale, and vice versa... but not really.

Anyway, I recently went on a spending spree and plunked down over $800 in a single transaction, but ended up eventually returning everything two weeks later. I got to feel the Thrill of Shopping, but I allowed myself an "out" in case I made a mistake, which I did.

Whatever you can extract from this, please do, but the basic point is, it's okay to impulse shop if you leaving yourself a way to fix it later if necessary.

Letting go

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 07:30:00 +0000

About two months ago your mother and I were in the midst of one of the worst fires ever seen in San Diego up until this date. It may become a footnote in the future, but at the time it ranked so high on the disaster scale that everything on local television shut down except for fire coverage. We had no idea whether or not we needed to evacuate, or even if we'd lose our home.

Your mom and I packed up everything "important" just in case the fires were to consume our house, and as we were going through our stuff, besides the usual important documents and mementos, we realized that... there's very little that's absolutely essential for us to keep. Which meant that all of the many many objects and trinkets that we've collected over the years weren't so necessary for us to keep after all once we reviewed it.

This is going to contrast another post that I have coming up (Of Pictures and Video), but the realization reminded me of something my father, your Opa, told me many times. My mother, your Oma, is the type of person who attaches sentiment and meaning to "things", and holds onto them. Opa, on the other hand, wants to simplify his life by getting rid of what he calls "junk".

I inherited both traits, but this post refers to Opa's way of thinking. I have collected and amassed so much in my 32 years so far of living, and it's mostly my stuff that makes the house so full. Your mother accounts for the Master Bedroom closet sure, but her items are more the decor of the house. Her stuff hangs on walls and makes the house look pretty, but my stuff tends to crowd up the closets and bookshelves.

I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this, but it feels right to share.

There are times that I look around at the things that I have and feel that I want to share them with you, my children, when you become old enough to enjoy them. Like my Transformers action figures. Back in 1984 when Transformers were first released, they were "simple" to transform. They took more work then their competitor (known as Gobots... you can look it up if you really want) but they were the type of toy that a young 10-year old could figure out. Nowadays in 2007, being able to "pose" your Transformers has become important for some reason. The metal has been replaced with plastic, and usability has been sacrificed in order to make the robot modes more flexible. Transforming the toy, which is arguably the funnest part, can take up to an hour for the "cooler" Transformers. For that reason I was looking through my old toys this weekend, ready to sell them on ebay, and had to stop myself so that I could save them for you. Even if you end up being all girls.

I keep in mind though that of all the things that I've amassed, that I'm just one person. There will be potentially up to 5 of us including your mother living in our house one day, and if I could build up this much stuff... so could all of you. And my stuff's already so much.

So I really want to make it a point to hold onto only the really really important stuff. Don't fall into the trap of consumerism and feel the need to "buy" things (unless they're returnable... see my future post The Thrill of Shopping for that one). One more thing, too. If you ever hold onto something for the sake of "one day I might need it, but I don't need it now", think about this: Does it cost more (in money) for you to buy it again when you do need it so many years from now, or does it cost more (in space) to hold onto it for that many years? Let the answer be your guide to keeping or dumping.

To think that I was going to talk about the fires here... but really, there shouldn't need to be a fire for you to think about the things that are really important in life: your health and your loved ones.

No whining

noreply@blogger.com (Sofeeuh) — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 23:30:00 +0000

I was talking w/ a co-worker the other day about feeling sorry for yourself. We agreed that it's acceptable to feel sorry for yourself for a set amount of time and then you need to DEAL with it. Is everyone alive? Is everyone healthy? Okay, you're fine. There is always someone way worse off than you who may be homeless, starving, abused, terminally ill, you get the picture. No prolonged whining over days, weeks, months, and God forbid, years. My co-worker and I agree that when we get this way, it's quite frustrating and boring in the long run; we don't like who we are when we're whiny people. I used to call this, "PMS"--"Poor Me Syndrome."

My best friend and I often have moments where we'll say to each other, "Can I be a girl for just a minute?" (Side note: This is not allude to the fact that girls whine or cry a lot but just because my friend and I consider ourselves cold fish for the most part when it comes to emotion and somewhat devoid of womanly feelings.) And we'll whine, cry, bitch, complain...and then we're done. If I am not going to be strong for myself, who will be?

Enjoying time

noreply@blogger.com (Sofeeuh) — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 22:16:00 +0000

It is so important to enjoy time. This doesn't mean you have to go out and do something extravagant nor does it mean you have to be a couch potato. I'm reading a book now called "Eat, Pray, Love", and in it, the author talks about how Americans are the worse at relaxing and just enjoying their time off. We work, work, work long, hard hours and then by the weekend, we're so exhausted that all we can really do is sit, comatose, in front of the TV. At least, I feel like this is what happens when you get into a things like a long-term relationship (i.e. easy to just veg out at home), buy a house (i.e. have a mortgage and lots of bills to pay), work in a stressful job (i.e. long hours at work), etc.

The important thing is to truly learn the art of enjoying time that you do get. If you love your job (and stats say Americans work a lot of hours), that's awesome--work your ass off. But remember, your job does not define you (a wise boss repeatedly tells me this). The whole, "stop and smell the roses" thing? That's where you will find yourself. If you're reading a book, drinking a cup of coffee, working in the garden, taking a nap, or shopping at the mall, do so completely and wholly. Try not to think of the next thing you have to do or the list of unfinished things you still need to get to. Of course it's important to remain task-oriented, but do you really want to go through life half-enjoying everything you do because you're already preoccupied with thoughts of the next thing?

It is especially important to do this WHEN YOU CAN, because there are times when you cannot. Like when I was in college, it was really hard to enjoy anything fully when I was a double major, working two jobs, involved in an internship, president of an organization--you get the picture. But now, even though my job is uber busy and stressful, I have the luxury of enjoying things a lot more. And I'm by NO MEANS an expert yet; I am learning the art of enjoying life every day. Just ask your dad, I kinda suck at it. But I'm definitely going to try my darndest to enjoy any time off I have.

That is, until you kids come along. =)

To My Future Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 21:32:00 +0000

The year is 2007. I've always wanted to create a list of things that I could teach my children, but to this date I haven't yet done so. Once upon a time I thought I'd write a book, but in this day and age it seems easier to just publish things to the world and let the internet accumulate the information for me.

This idea birthed from interacting with a number of people throughout the years and realizing that for every piece of information we know, someone had to first tell it to us or we had to figure it out for ourselves. Even the simple stuff, especially the simple things like "When does daylight savings time actually change?" All the way through to how to get through a job interview and what to put on a resume. I want to have a library of information that I plan on using to raise my children.

Notes:

Some insights will be much lighter than others, some even sound stupid. But the idea is that everything must be taught at some point in life and no information however obvious should be taken for granted.
This is just my set of opinions for my kids. This isn't how *everyone* should raise their children, nor is it a judgment against how anyone else raises theirs. This is just my collection of personal opinions.
I'm hoping my wife will join me in this once I tell her about it.
There is no regular "update schedule". I'll just be adding to it as I can.

That's it. If you're stopping by, thanks for visiting.